Florida is…

When you see a news story that starts with the phrase “Florida man” you can be sure that it will be about something weird and/or illegal – or just plain stupid – happening in the Sunshine State. However, men aren’t the only screw-ups and idiots in Florida. I present here for your edification, three examples out of the many, many available.

28) The place where this awful parenting transpired (be sure to read about what they found in the bus): Woman in Florida charged with leaving three kids in bus overnight to smoke pot on boat

29) The place where you can find this version of domestic bliss: Florida woman charged with using Christmas tree to attack boyfriend

30) The place where this happened (’nuff said): A Florida woman called 911 to report a dead woman on her driveway. Police say she killed her

Florida is…

16) Florida isn’t so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found. – Douglas Coupland, author.

17) The place where this happened: Florida man’s female roommate finds camera hidden in bathroom, including footage of the perv getting dirty in the shower

18) The place where this is happening: Florida iguanas hunted and killed for tacos and burritos