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Category: #Florida is…

Florida hijinks

Florida is…

70) The place from which Donald “Stinky” Trump, adjudicated rapist facing 91 criminal counts hails, won the New Hampshire primary election. And a lifetime of shame to those who voted for him.

71) The place where this moronic serial repeat offender handed over a methamphetamine-crusted driver’s license to a deputy during a routine traffic stop.

72) The state where this sorry-ass piece of filth threatened to rape and kill a 14-year-old, and their family members, for not sending explicit pictures. May he rot in hell for eternity.

Florida is…

70) Where these two disgustingly evil pieces of shit were doing heinous things: Bradenton man, woman arrested on sexual battery and child porn charges, deputies say

71) The place where democracy is dying a slow, lingering death at the hands of the Republicans: Florida leads the nation in school book bans. That should terrify us.

72) The place where this dumbass, knowing he has outstanding warrants, decided that the best way to lay low was to speed in a school zone, with predictable results: ‘I gotta go’: Florida man wanted on 3 felonies arrested for going 40mph in school zone, police say

Florida is…

67) The place where this incestuous arsonist set fire to his girlfriend’s car. She’s also his cousin. Nice.

68) The place where this worthless, racist piece of shit was doing his neo-nazi anti-semitic shtick: Florida man arrested for hanging swastikas, neo-Nazi flags on bridge

69) The place where sportsmanship is demonstrated by criminal acts: Football player rips helmet off opponent in brutal high school attack. For this outrage, the perpetrator has been hit with a whopping one game suspension.

Florida is…

When you see a news story that starts with the phrase “Florida man” you can be sure that it will be about something weird and/or illegal – or just plain stupid – happening in the Sunshine State. However, men aren’t the only screw-ups and idiots in Florida. I present here for your edification, three examples out of the many, many available.

28) The place where this awful parenting transpired (be sure to read about what they found in the bus): Woman in Florida charged with leaving three kids in bus overnight to smoke pot on boat

29) The place where you can find this version of domestic bliss: Florida woman charged with using Christmas tree to attack boyfriend

30) The place where this happened (’nuff said): A Florida woman called 911 to report a dead woman on her driveway. Police say she killed her

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