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Brilliantly succinct.
You can look it up!
White House: Hillary Clinton shot JFK from a secret deep state bunker under the grassy knoll.
Fermi Paradox Solved! Androgynous space aliens refuse to land fearing that Trump will grab their crotches and try to separate them from their children.
And now a word from our sponsor:

The new release, titled Highlights, is available for digital download from Projekt Records on Bandcamp. This is a name-your-price (including free) release. Of course the right thing to do is pay something if you can.
From the album’s description:
Ethereal, evocative, powerful and introspective, Black Tape For A Blue Girl’s recent studio albums expand upon the sweeping darkwave / art rock aesthetic they’ve developed over the past 34 years. Their eclectic, modernist approach refreshes BlackTape’s pioneering musical sentiments while maintaining the unique originality of their sound.
HIGHLIGHTS collects 10-tracks in a 50 minute overview of their last four years, ranging from ethereal dream pop to brooding darkwave, to atmospheric ambient drone. Three non-album cuts include a re-recording of 1989’s “Through sky blue rooms,” while on the 2020 exclusive-to-this-collection version of 1987’s “Scream, my shallow” vocalist Danielle Herrera recreates this harrowing story of obsession and denial.


Thanks to the ever-terrific xkcd.com
The headline says enough, but the added details in the article are worth a read:
A woman with a history of dog sex has been indicted for bank robbery
New CD release from Qntal. Qntal VIII – Nachtblume is their first album in four years. You can order it at Projekt Records.