Coincidence? I think not!

Pepto-Bismol. Kaopectate. Weird, alien-sounding names. Same number of syllables. Used to treat the same ailments. Evidence of alien intrusion in world society? You tell me, would you pour milk of magnesia over a bowl of corn flakes? ‘Nuff said.

Florida is…

55) The place where this moron must have been thinking “I ain’t afraid of no damn British car!”: Florida man injured after sticking his arm in jaguar pen at local zoo

56) The place where this monstrous asshole will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man sentenced to 3 years for spitting on 70-year-old man who asked him to social distance

57) The place where this appalling example of inhumanity resides. She ought to be thrown to the jaguars in #55 (above): Florida woman arrested after keeping child with autism in cage

Florida is…

52) The place where this idiot could not even manage to complete the job of earning a Darwin Award: Florida man shoots himself while showing off gun in bar

53) The place where this semi-human piece of shit will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man who hid HIV status from gal pals sentenced to prison

54) Not a place where “gator tossing” is recognized as an official sport, and he will pay a price for his ignorance. Maybe he will learn a lesson: Florida man tries to throw live gator onto building’s roof