Florida is…

55) The place where this moron must have been thinking “I ain’t afraid of no damn British car!”: Florida man injured after sticking his arm in jaguar pen at local zoo

56) The place where this monstrous asshole will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man sentenced to 3 years for spitting on 70-year-old man who asked him to social distance

57) The place where this appalling example of inhumanity resides. She ought to be thrown to the jaguars in #55 (above): Florida woman arrested after keeping child with autism in cage

Florida is…

52) The place where this idiot could not even manage to complete the job of earning a Darwin Award: Florida man shoots himself while showing off gun in bar

53) The place where this semi-human piece of shit will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man who hid HIV status from gal pals sentenced to prison

54) Not a place where “gator tossing” is recognized as an official sport, and he will pay a price for his ignorance. Maybe he will learn a lesson: Florida man tries to throw live gator onto building’s roof

Florida is…

49) Perhaps the only state where this would happen: Florida man on bicycle injured in crash with iguana

50) Where these god-awful turds should be forced to drink their “cure” every day of their prison stay: Florida man and his sons charged with selling toxic chemical as a coronavirus cure to thousands

51) The home state of this predator creep who will likely suffer greatly at the hands of other prison inmates: Florida man allegedly traveled to Vancouver to meet with 14-year-old girl for sex

Florida is…

46) The place where this alleged human wastes the planet’s oxygen supply: Florida woman busted for trying to kiss strangers at bar, calling 911 about social distancing

47) The place where this sub-human animal abuser deserves to be kicked into a bloody pulp: Florida man accused of kicking chicken like ‘a football player would kick a field goal’

48) The state where, apparently, some people think kidnapping teens is an OK thing to do: Florida man allegedly kidnapped teen to drive him through coronavirus checkpoint

Florida is…

43) The home of this spectacularly busy criminal with a diverse array of fresh crimes: Florida man facing 12 charges after allegedly committing 3 crimes in one day

44) Clearly the place where this complete and total idiot wishes he was from: ‘Bored’ Idaho man arrested in Florida for driving on beach

45) The place where this child-abusing son-of-a-bitch should be spending time in jail: Florida man put laxatives in boy’s medication, deputies say

Florida is…

40) The place where this shit head lives: Florida man arrested, charged with stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from hotel

41) The place where this so-called person (likely sub-human), who needs to stay in jail, resides: Florida Man Beat Pregnant Woman He Claimed Had The Coronavirus: Police

42) The place where this ballsy but astoundingly stupid waste of oxygen calls home: Florida man arrested twice in a week for posing as an officer