Florida is…

49) Perhaps the only state where this would happen: Florida man on bicycle injured in crash with iguana

50) Where these god-awful turds should be forced to drink their “cure” every day of their prison stay: Florida man and his sons charged with selling toxic chemical as a coronavirus cure to thousands

51) The home state of this predator creep who will likely suffer greatly at the hands of other prison inmates: Florida man allegedly traveled to Vancouver to meet with 14-year-old girl for sex

Remember the pandemic? It is not going away anytime soon.

So Florida, with a governor infected with slavish devotion to Trump, opened up its economy too soon according to federal standards. Now Florida, along with other similarly overeager states such as Texas and Arizona, is witnessing spikes in COVID-19 infections and hospitalizations. These spikes will no doubt be further boosted due to community spreading during protests – just wait a week or two for the increases to show up. The pandemic moving off the front page of the news does not mean it can be ignored. People who think there might be a “second wave” come autumn should not be surprised when it shows up much earlier, trashing plans for economic recovery.

Florida is…

46) The place where this alleged human wastes the planet’s oxygen supply: Florida woman busted for trying to kiss strangers at bar, calling 911 about social distancing

47) The place where this sub-human animal abuser deserves to be kicked into a bloody pulp: Florida man accused of kicking chicken like ‘a football player would kick a field goal’

48) The state where, apparently, some people think kidnapping teens is an OK thing to do: Florida man allegedly kidnapped teen to drive him through coronavirus checkpoint

Florida is…

43) The home of this spectacularly busy criminal with a diverse array of fresh crimes: Florida man facing 12 charges after allegedly committing 3 crimes in one day

44) Clearly the place where this complete and total idiot wishes he was from: ‘Bored’ Idaho man arrested in Florida for driving on beach

45) The place where this child-abusing son-of-a-bitch should be spending time in jail: Florida man put laxatives in boy’s medication, deputies say

Florida is…

40) The place where this shit head lives: Florida man arrested, charged with stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from hotel

41) The place where this so-called person (likely sub-human), who needs to stay in jail, resides: Florida Man Beat Pregnant Woman He Claimed Had The Coronavirus: Police

42) The place where this ballsy but astoundingly stupid waste of oxygen calls home: Florida man arrested twice in a week for posing as an officer

Florida is…

When you see a news story that starts with the phrase “Florida man” you can be sure that it will be about something weird and/or illegal – or just plain stupid – happening in the Sunshine State. However, men aren’t the only screw-ups and idiots in Florida. I present here for your edification, three examples out of the many, many available.

28) The place where this awful parenting transpired (be sure to read about what they found in the bus): Woman in Florida charged with leaving three kids in bus overnight to smoke pot on boat

29) The place where you can find this version of domestic bliss: Florida woman charged with using Christmas tree to attack boyfriend

30) The place where this happened (’nuff said): A Florida woman called 911 to report a dead woman on her driveway. Police say she killed her