Florida is…

43) The home of this spectacularly busy criminal with a diverse array of fresh crimes: Florida man facing 12 charges after allegedly committing 3 crimes in one day

44) Clearly the place where this complete and total idiot wishes he was from: ‘Bored’ Idaho man arrested in Florida for driving on beach

45) The place where this child-abusing son-of-a-bitch should be spending time in jail: Florida man put laxatives in boy’s medication, deputies say

Florida is…

40) The place where this shit head lives: Florida man arrested, charged with stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from hotel

41) The place where this so-called person (likely sub-human), who needs to stay in jail, resides: Florida Man Beat Pregnant Woman He Claimed Had The Coronavirus: Police

42) The place where this ballsy but astoundingly stupid waste of oxygen calls home: Florida man arrested twice in a week for posing as an officer

Florida is…

31) The place where this monumental fucktard lives: Florida man, perhaps unfamiliar with cold weather, sets house on fire to keep warm

32) The place where this guy, who just doesn’t understand the concepts involved, lives: Florida man steals goods to pay for ankle monitor fee

33) The place where this appalling thing happened: Florida man accused of pointing lasers at landing planes, injuring a pilot

Florida is…

When you see a news story that starts with the phrase “Florida man” you can be sure that it will be about something weird and/or illegal – or just plain stupid – happening in the Sunshine State. However, men aren’t the only screw-ups and idiots in Florida. I present here for your edification, three examples out of the many, many available.

28) The place where this awful parenting transpired (be sure to read about what they found in the bus): Woman in Florida charged with leaving three kids in bus overnight to smoke pot on boat

29) The place where you can find this version of domestic bliss: Florida woman charged with using Christmas tree to attack boyfriend

30) The place where this happened (’nuff said): A Florida woman called 911 to report a dead woman on her driveway. Police say she killed her

Florida is…

16) Florida isn’t so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found. – Douglas Coupland, author.

17) The place where this happened: Florida man’s female roommate finds camera hidden in bathroom, including footage of the perv getting dirty in the shower

18) The place where this is happening: Florida iguanas hunted and killed for tacos and burritos