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Tag: #Floridaman Page 1 of 3

Florida is…

70) The place from which Donald “Stinky” Trump, adjudicated rapist facing 91 criminal counts hails, won the New Hampshire primary election. And a lifetime of shame to those who voted for him.

71) The place where this moronic serial repeat offender handed over a methamphetamine-crusted driver’s license to a deputy during a routine traffic stop.

72) The state where this sorry-ass piece of filth threatened to rape and kill a 14-year-old, and their family members, for not sending explicit pictures. May he rot in hell for eternity.

Florida is…

70) Where these two disgustingly evil pieces of shit were doing heinous things: Bradenton man, woman arrested on sexual battery and child porn charges, deputies say

71) The place where democracy is dying a slow, lingering death at the hands of the Republicans: Florida leads the nation in school book bans. That should terrify us.

72) The place where this dumbass, knowing he has outstanding warrants, decided that the best way to lay low was to speed in a school zone, with predictable results: ‘I gotta go’: Florida man wanted on 3 felonies arrested for going 40mph in school zone, police say

Florida is…

67) The place where this incestuous arsonist set fire to his girlfriend’s car. She’s also his cousin. Nice.

68) The place where this worthless, racist piece of shit was doing his neo-nazi anti-semitic shtick: Florida man arrested for hanging swastikas, neo-Nazi flags on bridge

69) The place where sportsmanship is demonstrated by criminal acts: Football player rips helmet off opponent in brutal high school attack. For this outrage, the perpetrator has been hit with a whopping one game suspension.

Florida is…

64) The place where this twisted brute of a monster raped a twelve year old girl: Florida man accused of sexually assaulting, drugging girl, 12, after she asked for cigarette, deputies say

65) The place where this stupid, sorry-ass, miserable excuse for a human decided to give a public demonstration of his worthlessness: Florida man who broke into gas station identified after he left behind his debit card: deputies

66) The place where love blossoms like a delicate flower, except the flower is insane and guns are involved: Florida woman and 19-year-old arrested after alleged love triangle falls apart, leaving 15-year-old boy shot in fit of jealous rage

Florida is…

61) The place where this monster was found to be in possession of over one ton of child pornographic material: Florida man found with over “one ton” worth of child pornography

62) The place where instant karma was visited upon an idiot: Fleeing Florida motorcyclist flips off police before getting hit by truck

63) The place where this drug-addled first degree fuckhead killed two little girls and their grandfather: Florida man high on meth gets life for DUI crash that killed 2 girls, grandfather

Florida is…

58) The place where this total waste of food, water, and oxygen chose as a career path: “repeat offender criminal”: Florida man sentenced to 25 years in federal prison for receiving kilos of cocaine in the mail

59) The place where this dumb-fuck shit-for-brains decided that he always wondered what police thigh tasted like and now was the time to find out: Florida man bites officer after hitting another with car, dancing in traffic, police say

60) The place where so-called humans repeatedly try to answer the ages-old question “Just how stupid can you be?”: Florida burglars call 911 to get help moving stuff: sheriff

Florida is…

55) The place where this moron must have been thinking “I ain’t afraid of no damn British car!”: Florida man injured after sticking his arm in jaguar pen at local zoo

56) The place where this monstrous asshole will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man sentenced to 3 years for spitting on 70-year-old man who asked him to social distance

57) The place where this appalling example of inhumanity resides. She ought to be thrown to the jaguars in #55 (above): Florida woman arrested after keeping child with autism in cage

Florida is…

52) The place where this idiot could not even manage to complete the job of earning a Darwin Award: Florida man shoots himself while showing off gun in bar

53) The place where this semi-human piece of shit will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man who hid HIV status from gal pals sentenced to prison

54) Not a place where “gator tossing” is recognized as an official sport, and he will pay a price for his ignorance. Maybe he will learn a lesson: Florida man tries to throw live gator onto building’s roof

Florida is…

49) Perhaps the only state where this would happen: Florida man on bicycle injured in crash with iguana

50) Where these god-awful turds should be forced to drink their “cure” every day of their prison stay: Florida man and his sons charged with selling toxic chemical as a coronavirus cure to thousands

51) The home state of this predator creep who will likely suffer greatly at the hands of other prison inmates: Florida man allegedly traveled to Vancouver to meet with 14-year-old girl for sex

Florida is…

46) The place where this alleged human wastes the planet’s oxygen supply: Florida woman busted for trying to kiss strangers at bar, calling 911 about social distancing

47) The place where this sub-human animal abuser deserves to be kicked into a bloody pulp: Florida man accused of kicking chicken like ‘a football player would kick a field goal’

48) The state where, apparently, some people think kidnapping teens is an OK thing to do: Florida man allegedly kidnapped teen to drive him through coronavirus checkpoint

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