Florida is…

55) The place where this moron must have been thinking “I ain’t afraid of no damn British car!”: Florida man injured after sticking his arm in jaguar pen at local zoo

56) The place where this monstrous asshole will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man sentenced to 3 years for spitting on 70-year-old man who asked him to social distance

57) The place where this appalling example of inhumanity resides. She ought to be thrown to the jaguars in #55 (above): Florida woman arrested after keeping child with autism in cage

Florida is…

52) The place where this idiot could not even manage to complete the job of earning a Darwin Award: Florida man shoots himself while showing off gun in bar

53) The place where this semi-human piece of shit will be spending an inadequate amount of time in prison: Florida man who hid HIV status from gal pals sentenced to prison

54) Not a place where “gator tossing” is recognized as an official sport, and he will pay a price for his ignorance. Maybe he will learn a lesson: Florida man tries to throw live gator onto building’s roof

Florida is…

49) Perhaps the only state where this would happen: Florida man on bicycle injured in crash with iguana

50) Where these god-awful turds should be forced to drink their “cure” every day of their prison stay: Florida man and his sons charged with selling toxic chemical as a coronavirus cure to thousands

51) The home state of this predator creep who will likely suffer greatly at the hands of other prison inmates: Florida man allegedly traveled to Vancouver to meet with 14-year-old girl for sex

Florida lunatics out in full force

It is well past time for Florida to change from being “The Sunshine State” to the much more realistic motto “The Fucktard State.” If you are one of the few people that actually need to ask “Why?” here are the latest examples. The headlines speak for themselves, but also link to full articles for your illumination and entertainment.

What a whack job: Florida cops seeking chubby serial masturbator at construction site

Delivery man bludgeons Florida woman to death and sets her on fire, cops say

Florida man arrested after botched castration: cops

’He’s just a little boy!’ Florida mom tells deputies arresting 15-year-old son over school shooting threat